Prolific

Within the last 24 hours Little Dude has had one massive spit up attack that soaked his shirt and car seat as well as 2 overflowing diapers that covered his entire lower body (and everything else) in poo. It's amazing how much liquid can come out of such a little person. I'm just glad that all of these incidents occured within the comfort of our own home. And, even though I don't have air conditioning or a dishwasher, I'm exceedingly grateful to have a washing machine.

One Month

Well, Little Dude is officially one month old today and we've all survived, more or less. He still is having a lot of trouble falling asleep and staying asleep, but apparently all the time he spends eating is having an effect since yesterday at a weight check he had gained nearly 2 pounds since leaving the hospital. I have seen infants that sleep peacefully for several hours at a time, but he is not one of them. Some days I wonder if I produce caffeinated breast milk, since S-Boogie was particularly alert too. Unfortunately, he doesn't seem to like being awake and will cry and complain about it until you hold him or feed him. The nice thing is, we have done this before and we have faith that this stage will pass. After a month, the lack of sleep is starting to wear a little, but I keep repeating to myself "this won't last forever". Tonight I gave him a bath and we snuggled on the couch. I will someday miss the feeling of having a warm, clean baby sleeping on my chest. I think S-Boogie has also decided that it's not all that much fun either. Most of the time she's doing all right, and still loves her little brother rather fiercely. But she's really learning how to wait for Mommy to finish feeding him, or changing him, or rocking him. I think she wants her life back. The hardest thing for her has been the fact that Master Fob has started a second job and is now gone most of the time. She got to spend lots of time with him over the last few years while I was going to school, so now she not only has to try and adjust to having a new baby, but also having Mommy home all the time and Daddy never home. I'm starting to feel a lot better though, so we'll be getting out and doing more things soon I hope. She keeps asking to go for a walk or to go to the park, and I'm really not quite up to it. I'm sure six weeks seems like an eternity to her. Anyways, the child needs food and I need to get to bed. Didn't mean for this post to be such a downer, but the reality is that life with a newborn is a lot of hard work. Some day the investment will pay off and he'll smile or something, but right now I'll just keep repeating "this too shall pass".

Grocery Guru

The other day I was at the library to pick up a certain book. As I am wont to do, I grabbed a few other nearby books that looked interesting. One was about how to shop smart in order to reduce your grocery bill, so I thought I'd see if it could help us out a little. We don't spend very much on groceries, but spending less isn't usually a bad idea. Then I flipped through the book before reading it, and I realized that I did most of the things this woman advocated. I can't save any more money because I'm already following her "proven program for grocery savings". I don't know where I picked up all my shopping smarts, but I know at least some of them are from my Mom, and others from just being poor for the last 10 years of my adult life. Anyways, here are the things that the author thinks you should do, and what I do (although maybe it's just common sense and she doesn't realize that everyone does them):
1. Shop with a list and a weekly menu. Plan your menu based on what's on sale that week, as well as what you already have on hand. Shop at more than one store to take advantage of sales.
I totally do this--except lately I don't get the ad for Macey's in my mail, so I often end up shopping at Smiths because it's closer to my house and I know what's going to be on sale there. Maceys has better prices, so if I'm getting more than just a few things, I do try and go there. I don't usually make more than one trip, because we don't buy that many groceries and I'm not a super fanatical shopper.
2. Keep a well-stocked pantry and stock up on sale items. Eat from your pantry so you don't have to spend a lot of money on each weekly trip.
This is one of my favorite ways to save money. I love to hoard food, and probably about 80% of our shopping trips are just for milk, bread and produce. Every few months I stock up on canned goods and other stuff like that. I buy meat in bulk at Costco and freeze it, so I only buy meat every few months (well, things like hamburger or chicken--I do occasionally buy a roast or steaks on sale). I also love stocking up on nonfood things like toilet paper or toothpaste. Then you hardly ever have to go to the store. The last time I bought a pack of dryer sheets at Costco it lasted a year and a half! Stocking up is a great strategy right now while we have a small family, since we don't go through things very fast. Plus, if we have big expenses for one paycheck, I can cut the amount I spend at the grocery store and we still have plenty to eat.
3. Be aware of cost per serving and maximize your shopping dollars.
I actually don't stock up on everything at Costco, because their prices aren't really the best for everything. You can usually get store brand canned goods for a better price, especially on sale. But, I've also realized that I don't like the store brand of everything, so sometimes paying a little more for quality is better. We also really stretch our servings of meat and don't even eat it except for a few times a week. Like I always cut chicken breasts in half and count each half as a serving rather than an entire piece. It's more than enough meat, especially if you make extra veggies to go with it. I've often stopped myself from buying other things on sale because I've realized that the price per serving still isn't a great deal. That's also why I like to make my own yogurt or bread, because it is so much cheaper.
4. Don't buy convenience foods and make as much as you can yourself.
This is one I don't always follow either, it depends on what is going on in life. But, I do have to say that I skip most aisles in the grocery store. I pretty much never buy juice or soda, chips, cookies, candy, snacks, Rice-a-Roni, cake mix, spaghetti sauce, etc. Basic, fresh, homemade food is what I like and what feels healthier. It's a lot cheaper that way too. Even if you want things like little bags of chips to take with your lunch, you can buy the big bag and divide it up yourself. I'd much rather make my own cookies and muffins than buy them (except for Oreos, mmm...)

OK, so now I sound like one of those ladies who drives a beat-up station wagon and only wears thrift store clothes (OK the last part of that is mostly true). But, there's nothing wrong with saving money. And every year I'm grateful that I had a Mom who taught me how to cook my own food, how to save money at the store, and that soda, chips, and sugar cereals are evil. Thanks Mom.

Happy Blogday to me

I just realized that Wednesday marked one year of blogging for me. I hope everyone has enjoyed the journey. I wasn't sure what I'd be writing about when I started, and I didn't really mean to turn this into a forum dedicated to pregnancy and bowel troubles. But, that's what's been on my mind and that's what ends up on the web. I've met lots of new friends through this past year and I'm glad to get to know you, even if I haven't met some of you in person yet. I hope this next year will be just as interesting!

I think I need to go make some brownies to celebrate this occasion...

Inching closer to the end

This morning involved a lot of stress, driving around, hauling two kids here and there, etc. I now feel like crap and I think I will spend the rest of the evening sitting on the couch watching back to back episodes of "Without a Trace" on TNT (well, after S-Boogie's in bed). But, it was worth the hassle because I just took my last final exam ever. Unless I decide I need another degree, but that is totally not happening any time soon. I also got a contract signed so that I have an incomplete grade in my class. I did all the work except for the final paper. I'm ready to write it and have even done an abstract and outline, but it just hasn't happened yet. I needed to read all 500 pages of Cien anos de soledad in order to be ready for the final, so that took priority. So, I'm a lot closer to my degree than I have been in the past. I've completed all my coursework and my specialty exam, and I've filed a prospectus for my thesis. I still have to write my thesis, but at least I don't have to go to class ever again. That's worth celebrating!

Crazy week!

This has been a rather crazy week for us. Monday and Tuesday were actually fairly normal. Then Tuesday night my stomach started feeling bad. It felt like gas pain, and I've had quite a bit of digestive trouble over the last few months so I didn't think much about it. I went to bed and after a while managed to get a bit of sleep. Then I woke up at 2 to feed the baby, fed him, and realized that my stomach hurt so much I could barely stand up. I finally decided to wake up Master Fob and ask him what he thought we should do. After an internet search determined that I had most of the symptoms of appendicitis, we decided to go in to the emergency room. Master Fob's brother was nice enough to come over and sleep on our couch at 4 AM so we didn't have to leave S-Boogie home alone, and we took Little Dude with us (he was also nice enough to just sleep in his carseat during the entire trip to the hospital). At the hospital they hooked me up to a nice IV with fluids and morphine, and then did a bunch of rather disgusting tests on my insides. And the final verdict was that I was constipated. Yep, that's all. But, it was complicated by the fact that my ab muscles are still recovering from recent surgery and I'm taking iron supplements, and I haven't been getting much physical activity. And they figured out that I had a urinary tract infection too, which wasn't helping much. So basically my body was just really messed up and my digestive system went on strike in order to protest. I left the hospital with several more prescriptions and was told that everything should work itself out in a few more days. Today feels like things should start getting better, and at the risk of grossing everyone out, you can't understand how good it feels to fart again after being unable to do so for several days. So the next time you do, just count your blessings that you can.

That was early Wednesday morning, so I spent the next few days (until last night) in a lot of pain until the various medications worked their magic. Since I was feeling so wonderful (note the sarcasm), I decided a 4 hour road trip was in order. My grandma passed away last Saturday night and I really wanted to go the funeral up in Wyoming. We were all in a pretty bad mood on Thursday when we left, but it turned out to be a nice little trip. I'm glad I was able to go to the funeral. She's been in poor health for quite a while, and she actually looked better in her coffin than I had seen her looking for a long time. It's nice to go the funeral of someone who lived a full life and was ready to move on. She was a fairly average woman for her time period--grew up on a farm, got married at 18 to another farmer, and raised 8 kids. She lived in the same house for the last 53 years. Her life revolved around her family and friends, her garden, cooking, and a lot of hard work. All of the tributes to her talked about how she worked so hard on everything and cared so much about everyone. She really was an excellent cook and gardener, and I loved the fact that even though she had nearly 30 grandchildren I always felt special when I visited her. I'm glad I went to the funeral because all of the grandchildren except the 2 on missions and my sister who is in Morocco were there. At the end of the service all of us, including our spouses and the great grandchildren, got up and sang a medley of Primary songs. It was really special to be there. I've realized over the last few years that even though funerals may seem like a lot of expense and hassle, the ritual is nice to have. Even though we were all expecting my grandma to die and most people had a chance to say goodbye, it's nice to get together and pay tribute to her. Even though I felt pretty crummy most of the time I was there, it was worth going and visiting with my family. I like my extended family a lot, and Star Valley in June is absolutely beautiful.

Two weeks

Little Dude had his two week checkup today, and apparently the hours of feeding are paying off. He's gone up 5 ounces since he was born, and weighs nearly a pound more than he did when he left the hospital (most babies lose some weight in the days between birth and coming home). He's around the 15th percentile for height and weight, which isn't bad for being a few weeks early; that's where S-Boogie has stayed for most of her life, so I guess I just have kids that are a little smaller than average. He also managed to grow half an inch in the last two weeks, so that's pretty good too.

I had a checkup yesterday and things look good for me too. I'm still a bit sore and I'm not supposed to lift or push or carry or pull anything (vacuums, shopping carts, toddlers, carseats, etc) for a few more weeks, but generally I'm feeling pretty well most of the time. My grandma passed away last Saturday, so we're planning on driving up to Wyoming on Thursday for the funeral. It's a little soon for a road trip, but I think we'll be OK.

I just can't believe it's been a little more than two weeks already: I haven't even reached my due date yet!

Deep thoughts

This morning we were watching The Tigger Movie and S-Boogie suddenly asked "Where are Pooh's pants?" I replied, "I don't know", and she looked troubled for a moment before replying "Probably he left them at home."

Also, yesterday I was trying to get her to stop doing something, and I asked her several times to stop. Finally I got exasperated and asked "Are you listening to me?" She looked up and replied, "Mama, I don't want to listen right now."

Refinement

One thing that I'm realizing about myself is that I'm really bad at asking for help or for admitting that I just can't do something. The "nice" thing about post-partum hormones is that when I get overwhelmed they make me break down in a sobbing mess, so it's pretty obvious that I've just been faking it. At least Master Fob is patient with me and understands that it's just the estrogen talking.

Also, I feel really guilty asking Master Fob to do things around the house. I realized this the other day, because I don't feel bad asking S-Boogie to do things for herself, like picking up her toys or putting her clothes away. But for some reason I feel terrible about asking my husband to do things. I think I spoil him, because I usually just do most things myself (like cleaning the bathroom, taking out the trash, etc.) He usually doesn't notice if I don't say anything, and I hate saying something. (I also feel bad because he already goes to work all day, so I might as well pick up a little more of the housework. When we both worked, we divided things more evenly) I just hate to bother other people and make them do things for me. That's why I hate shopping so much, especially in those stores in the mall where the salespeople want to pay attention to you. I'd rather just be invisible and take care of myself. It's a good thing I keep getting some lovely opportunities to learn how to depend on other people, even though I'd rather get my life back soon.

One Week

Well, we survived the first week and I didn't even have a crying breakdown until last night. I'm not even sure what the specific cause was--just accumulated stress and post-partum hormone issues. Little Dude (that's become his blog name, so I think I'll use it) has decided to actually sleep for the last two nights. Well, he does three hours at a time, gets up and eats, and goes back to sleep. I can handle that--it's better than the first few nights when he'd just fuss for hours. We've also discovered that he likes having his mattress propped up at an angle and he likes being wrapped up tightly. Also, if you hold him for a little while until he's deeply asleep, he won't notice that you're putting him down in his bed. I'm probably teaching him bad sleep habits, but we'll fix that in a few months. I just want to sleep right now.

The feeding thing is working itself out too. My body is adjusting so the engorgement issue isn't so much of a problem, but I'm still kind of sore when he eats. I've been debating going in to the lactation clinic, but I'm pretty sure I know what the problem is. His mouth is just tiny, and his chin kind of recedes, so it's hard to get a nice open mouth when he starts eating. It tends to pinch (ouch!), so I have to really force his mouth open and hold things in place. It gets a little tiring, but it should get better in a few weeks and hopefully I won't need to use both hands to feed him every single time. And I keep reminding myself that he won't need to eat every 2 hours for the rest of his life.

Anyways, we're still surviving. The ward has had people bring us food for the last few nights, which has been a nice little bonus. I'm getting nervous because Master Fob is jumping right into his new job this week and will suddenly be working 40 hours a week, including almost every evening until 9 as well as Saturdays. But I've got my freezer full of food and I'm prepared to keep neglecting housework for the next few weeks, so we'll be OK. Unlike last night, I can now recognize that there will be good and bad days, but not every day is a bad day.

Since I missed testimony meeting today...

This year we've been reading the Old Testament together before bed, and even though it's slow going I often find myself reflecting on the very different sort of religious devotion that was expected back then. It's interesting how much focus was placed on tangible, outward signs. At the same time, I do sometimes wish for a bit more tangibility in what I do to show God my devotion. This week I've been thinking a lot about gratitude and how I really do feel incredibly grateful that I was able to deliver a healthy baby and survive the experience myself. I really don't feel that what happened last Sunday night was entirely just chance or serendipity at work.

Being a linguistic nitpicker, I've often been bothered by the fact that some people will get up in testimony meeting and spend their whole time talking about thankful they are, rather than expressing testimony, which to me has always been more about what you believe or even what you know. Also, I've been bothered by the compulsion people feel to "thank Heavenly Father publicly for what he's done", since I was always under the impression that He preferred private devotion rather than public. But I also realized this week that in order to be thankful, we must acknowledge that we either know or believe that God exists. You have to know who you are thanking, right? So, even though I stand by my belief that perhaps God doesn't need our public thanks in testimony meeting, I can understand a little better. I feel pretty darn thankful myself this week. I do wish there was some more tangible way to let God know that.

I forget who said it and I'm too lazy to look it up, but someone (Spencer W. Kimball?) once said that God usually answers our prayers through other people. I am also grateful for all the friends and family who have been helping us out. Having a baby is hard for a lot of reasons and it's nice to know people are there for you. My parents came up and spent a few days and it was so great to have them here. My mom cooked and cleaned for us, and my dad spent lots of time playing with S-Boogie. The best part was when they took S-Boogie to Wyoming with them for a little overnight trip on Friday. That is a true demonstration of love. Plus my mom brought me back a beautiful bouquet of lilacs from my grandma's yard. I've also appreciated all the visits and emails and other things from friends. I hope I can be there for them when they need me. That's probably the best way to express gratitude for what other people do--give a little something back someday.

The scariest word in the English language

Engorgement

Trust me, you don't want to know. If you really do, click here and feel my pain.