Do I ever have to go home?

Things we did today:

Got up, ate breakfast outside on the patio, and watched S-Boogie play in the sandbox for nearly an hour.

Drove out to visit my Mom's classroom and to see my Dad in the hospital (he had surgery, but should be home tomorrow).

Stopped by In-N-Out for lunch.

Finished reading Girl in Hyacinth Blue and took a nap.

Talked to my sister in Morocco on the phone for half-an-hour (yay!)

Played with S-Boogie in the pool for an hour.

Went out for Indian food; S-Boogie pretty much just had nan for dinner, but she was very well behaved in the restaurant.

Let Grandma completely indulge S-Boogie by taking her to the Shark Reef and buying her cool things from the gift shop, like a stuffed shark that comes in its own purse and a marine life coloring book.

Can't wait to see what we're going to do tomorrow...

On Vacation

I should wait to post until tomorrow when I'm feeling more awake, but I feel compelled to blog right now. I enjoyed the blog party last night and was glad to see everyone who showed up. I really like entertaining and it's fun to get together with so many friends. I woke up feeling pretty nasty this morning, since I ate way too much food yesterday and then stayed up way too late talking. So of course the best thing to do when you're feeling gross is to get in the car for a 6 hour drive with a two-year-old. We left shortly before naptime, but unfortunately it took us nearly 4 hours of the drive to convince her to go to sleep. I don't sleep well in the car either, but at least I don't (usually) scream and cry about it. The last 2 hours of the drive were much more pleasant; and I discovered today that listening to books on tape is a great way to pass the time in the car. We're now in Vegas for the next few days, and hopefully tomorrow will be fun and relaxing. S-Boogie has a sandbox, a swimming pool, toys, and a kitty cat to entertain her; I just plan to spend as much time as possible in the pool or hot tub. If anything interesting happens, I'll blog about it. But you probably won't hear from me for a few days, since that's quite unlikely.

Another thing crossed off the list

I love the fact that the end of the semester has coincided with the beginning of spring. I feel light and unburdened, and the beautiful weather is certainly helping my mood. Today I got to meet with my thesis committee about my prospectus. Basically, a prospectus is a few pages that talk about your thesis and outline your plan for it, along with a bibliography of stuff you're going to use. I was nervous about meeting with them, since some of my ideas are still a little vague and stuff, but they all were very positive and liked it a lot. So, now it is filed and the next step is just writing the thesis (that's all, ha ha). It was a nice feeling to get it out of the way and to know that I really am getting closer to being done with my degree. Some days I don't know if it's worth it or not, but today it certainly feels like it is!

And now I can breathe a sigh of relief, because tomorrow we have a big party with all our friends and then on Thursday we drive to Vegas to spend a few days relaxing in the pool and watching movies on the big TV at my parents' house. Plus it's my birthday next week, so I get to have a birthday dinner with my parents, which I haven't done for a long time. Maybe my mom will make me angel food cake with orange glaze and strawberries.... (hint, hint).

Worst. Paper. Ever.

Well, it's done and it's totally crappy. But I don't care and I'm going to go turn it in now. I think that this class cured me of any sort of fascination with linguistics I might have had. Then again, even the students doing Spanish linguistics told me that they wouldn't want to take a grad level syntax class. So maybe I was crazy to take it, but at least I survived. I don't think I did badly enough to fail (crossing my fingers); hopefully this professor won't hate me forever now.

Party party

For anyone who reads my blog without reading Master Fob's as well, we're having another blog party next Wednesday. It's mainly because Th. and Lady Steed are going to be in town, but also because we like to entertain and because it's amusing to see how many people we can cram into our apartment. Actually, the weather will hopefully be nice enough that we can use the patch of grass that is kind of our "backyard". We will provide hot dogs, hamburgers, baked beans, potato salad, and some kind of fruit or vegtable. If you want to contribute anything, bring chips/munchies, dessert, or drinks. Or just bring yourself if you want. If you need directions, my email is linked at the bottom of the page. Oh, and it starts at 5:30 or so.

Extreme makeover--face edition

For some reason, I have always felt like going to the doctor is a rare occurence that should be preserved for obvious, life-threatening conditions that are causing major pain. I feel funny going to the doctor for littler annoyances and so I usually don't. But, I've had a weird rash by my mouth for the last month or so that wasn't going away. It's mostly been an aesthetic problem, since it doesn't hurt or anything, but after a month I decided maybe it was time to do something about it. Today I had an appointment with the dermatologist. I was a little nervous about going, because I was afraid he would laugh at me for coming in over something so small and trivial. Well, it was a short appointment, but I did find out that I have perioral dermatitis, which won't go away unless you treat it. So, I could have waited for months and it never would have gone away. Unfortunately I can't do the quicker antibiotic treatment since I'm pregnant, but with special cream and stuff it should clear up totally within a month or two. And the dermatologist also figured out that what I thought was just stubborn acne on my chin is an outbreak of viral warts. Nice. Those can't be treated simultaneously with the rash, but after the other thing gets cleared up I can treat them. So in a few months I should have totally clear skin. That's pretty cool. I had just assumed that my skin was kind of yucky and there was nothing I could do about it. I'm glad I decided to "bother" the doctor with my little complaints.

Premature Aging

I feel like such an old lady lately. My body is stiff and sore, I worry about my blood pressure, and I realized yesterday that I use all of the following products on a regular basis: fiber pills, antacids, and hemorrhoid cream. Nice.

Does anyone want to buy me a Jazzy?

Easter svithe

For people who only read my blog and not those of my friends, "svithe" is a lovely word invented by Th. to describe his weekly religously-themed posts. I don't plan on starting a tradition of weekly religous/philosophical musings, but I do have occasional thoughts that might be interesting to share. Also, I'm not very good at expressing my feelings and opinions on things, so I hope that the practice of writing will help me get better at organizing and articulating them.

The other night I was reading chapter 4 of Mosiah in the Book of Mormon, which includes King Benjamin's speech to his people. As I read the familiar words starting in verse 13 that list all the things we should be doing in order to be righteous people (not letting our children fight, giving generously and unjudgementally to those in need, living peaceably with others, etc), I started to get that familiar uncomfortable feeling that I am a selfish, petty person incapable of truly loving others. But then I looked back a few verses, to verses 9-11, and I had a sudden realization. King Benjamin isn't just commanding us to be nicer and to live better lives, he's listing the end results of a process outlined a few verses earlier. In verse 9 we are told that we should have faith in God, then in verse 10 we learn that we need to repent and be humble in order to let God into our lives, and in verse 11 we find out that it's important to keep praying and seeking God diligently every day in order to keep His influence in our lives. Verse 12 tells us that if we are diligent in enduring to the end we will receive forgiveness for our sins, feel the love of God, and increase in our knowledge of who He is and of His love. Then verse 13 starts in with all the heavy stuff that seems like a whole lot of little things we have to do in order to be perfect. But, God isn't just commanding us to do those things on our own or anything. He uses the verb "will" here, but it's not a command. It's a description of the result of our coming closer to God and feeling his spirit and influence more fully in our lives. Therefore, when he says "You will not have a mind to injure one another, but to live peaceably, and to render to every man according to that which is his due", it's not so much a commandment that we need to screw up our self-control and try harder on our own to be kind. It's letting us know how wonderful life can be if we live closer to our Heavenly Father and allow Him to influence us.

This actually wasn't a completely new revelation for me. Several years ago, while serving as a missionary, I decided that one of my favorite scriptures was Moroni 7:45, which lists all the attributes of charity, or Christlike love. I decided that I was going to have that kind of love for everyone, and I tried very hard to do it. When my companions were irritating or the work got hard, I gritted my teeth and reminded myself that "charity suffereth long and is kind". If I wasn't doing a very good job, I thought about verse 46 which tells us that without charity we are "nothing". I didn't do a very good job of being charitable, and that made me feel guilty and irritable and even less charitable than I had before. Then one day I read the last few verses after my new favorite verse, and I realized that I had it all wrong. After discussing why charity is so important, Mormon tells us in verse 48 how we get to have this kind of love. And it's not by gritting our teeth and just trying harder to be kind and patient. We have to ask for it and live worthy of it. It's a gift from God, not something we take on ourselves. It's not even possible to accomplish by on our own--we have to ask for His help in being charitable.

As it often does, the discussion of the true meaning of words such as "easy" or "simple" came up today in Sacrament meeting. That's probably a subject best left for another post, but I feel that I have come to see the gospel as something much more simply beautiful, and much more mysteriously difficult, since reading these scriptures more closely. I love the idea of change: another favorite scripture of mine is Isaiah 61:1-3, where the Lord tells us His mission is to completely change our lives and make us whole, beautiful and perfect. Life is imperfect, unfair, and difficult. But seeking the Lord's help is not easy either and it can't just be done once. But if we do our best as well as ask for His help, perhaps we can experience more holiness in our lives. I know that I am a vain, selfish, mean person, and I don't like that about myself. But I still have faith that "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me". Hopefully that small bit of faith will be enough to make me into the kind of person I truly want to be.

By the way...

S-Boogie has a blog now. You can find it here. It's mainly for pictures and stuff about her. Enjoy.

The drug of the nation

I am about to confess one of the ways in which I am hypocritical, judgemental, and basically a bad person. I'm sorry to disappoint all of you, but I'm not perfect.

When I was a small child we did not have a television set at all. Apparently it broke before I was born and my parents never got around to fixing it. When I was about 8 or so, my dad bought a car from an old man who decided to throw in a TV as part of the deal. I remember that one of the first things we watched was some Disney movie of the week about a guide dog for the blind. It made me cry. After that, we had a variety of random old television sets until I was about 13 when we got a real, brand new TV. My parents just replaced it last year with a giant flat screen.

I have always said that I'm not a big fan of television and I don't watch it that much. If we had not received one as a wedding gift, I'm not sure when we would have gotten around to getting one. But, since we have one and we have cable, I will confess that I actually watch a fair amount of TV. I like the Food Network and those home makeover shows on TLC or whatever other channel shows them. I am also shamelessly addicted to shows like Law and Order and CSI, even though CSI is implausible, gory, and kind of lame. So even though I may publicly denounce the wasteland of pop culture and the lazy people who watch TV for fun, there are way too many nights in which I neglect my homework in favor of television. (Hanging my head in shame now).

I also decided a while ago that when I had children television would not be a major part of their lives either. There are many reasons why I feel this way and I'll admit that it's one of the issues I feel most judgemental about. I have way too much pride about the fact that I don't let my child watch very much television. But, I do let her watch some. We decided to teach her sign language when she was a baby. Then, when she was about 1 or so, I heard about these neat videos called Signing Time. I checked one out from the library, and really liked it so I started letting S-Boogie watch it once a day. I really hadn't intended to let her watch any TV until she was at least 2 or so, but Signing Time ruined my plans. But, they are shortish videos and very educational for both of us. We also just added some Veggie Tales videos to her rotation, because after a year and a half Signing Time seems to be getting a little old. We're still pretty strict about the one video a day limit, and I'm not yet willing to let her sit and watch an entire movie (plus I haven't really found any I'm comfortable with her watching at 2) The truth is, small amounts of television don't seem to be hurting her at all, and there have been times when she's been sick or in the hospital and needed something that distracting. I just have this weird angst over the fact that I too often judge others for letting their children watch TV, while I have the kid who loves going to the library because she can go downstairs and pick out a new video.

I will now go repeat to myself 100 times: I watch television and I am not a bad person.

Lesson learned

Do not buy an economy sized box of 150 diapers without being able to try them first. S-Boogie goes through 3-4 diapers per day, which means we'll be using them up for nearly a month. Unfortunately, Costco only sells their diapers in the enormous box so we took a gamble and lost. I love their baby wipes, but within the last 5 days or so we've had several incidents of leakage from wetness as well as at least one leaky poopy diaper. I'm sticking with Luvs, they make me happy and they don't leak like this.

If anyone wants to buy a nearly full box of Kirkland diapers, email me (it's at the bottom of my blog). They're size 5, so for kids over 28 pounds (I think that includes you, Tolkien Boy :))

Mmm, garbanzo beans

One of the semi-infamous incidents from my childhood was the time my mother tried to feed us garbanzo bean casserole. We were actually pretty adventurous eaters as kids and ate a number of healthy, natural foods readily. But for some reason, the name "garbanzo beans" threw us off and we rebelled. Just the sound of the word "garbanzo" was enough to send us running away from the table in horror.

Now that it's been about 20 years and I am a much more mature (ha) sort of person, I actually enjoy garbanzo beans, or chickpeas if you prefer a more sonorous name. They eat them in Spain in a variety of dishes, and I've even had them toasted and salted like peanuts. Tonight we ate one of our new favorite vegetarian recipes, curried chickpeas*, and as I watched S-Boogie eat her rice and garbanzos I realized that I can't ever eat them without thinking back to my first exposure to the dreaded word "garbanzo". So far, S-Boogie doesn't seem to share my aversion--although she did refer to our dinner as "butter" because she saw me putting in some peanut butter.

*If you want to try the recipe, it's towards the middle of the page linked here. I usually substitute some curry powder for the cumin (I just put in a heaping teaspoon) and I am generous with the peanut butter too. It's very tasty and especially good with a cucumber yogurt salad.

A little too much independence

Yesterday afternoon I happened to be at Costco and we happened to be needing new diapers, so I decided to try theirs out for the first time. I was a little nervous about buying a giant box (140) of an unknown product, but I'd heard good things about them and they were the same price per diaper as our usual favorite, Luvs. We took the giant box home and stored it in S-Boogie's room this morning. However, I was feeling lazy and didn't get around to making room for it in her closet before her nap. I should have known better.

Naps lately have been somewhat hit and miss for her. Some days she is really tired and falls asleep quickly, and stays that way for several hours. Other days it's more the routine of quiet time that prompts nap time and she just plays in her room for an hour or so before I give up and let her out. Today seemed like one of those days, since just a few minutes after I read her stories and put her in her bed I heard the tinkling of her little play piano. I was sitting in here on the computer and the thought of the giant box of diapers crossed my mind, but I figured she couldn't make too much of a mess with them. (Yes, I'm that lazy and that addicted to the internet).

Then, after half an hour of "naptime", I heard her door swing open and suddenly smelled a Very Bad Smell. I turned around to be confronted by the sight of a very naked, very distressed, and very poop-smeared child. She reported: "Mommy, I brown." Yeah.

Apparently, she had decided to attempt to change her poopy diaper herself. The giant box of diapers probably didn't have much to do with this, since the wipes and diapers are usually within her reach, but the sight of the exciting new diapers probably spurred a burst of creativity. I filled up the bathtub, plopped her in it (which means I get to go clean my tub now--hooray), and went to inspect her room. I found several diapers smeared with poop, a large pile of poopy wipes, and a big blob of poop mushed into the carpet. Luckily her clothes were piled neatly out of harm's way and her bed and ducky seemed to be unscathed. Her room also smells like the monkey house at the zoo. After "naptime" (she is currently clean and back in bed, although I hear singing, not sleeping) we'll be making a trip to Target to find some sort of cleaning product that can remove poop completely from carpet. And Mommy is definitely buying supplies for making caramel popcorn, which will be consumed by the parents after S-Boogie's bedtime tonight.

So, we have yet another rule for our home: S-Boogie does not get to change her diapers herself. If being grossed out by dirty pants is a step towards potty training, this child is going to be in diapers until she graduates from high school.

And there was much rejoicing

The sun came out today and it was glorious. The snow-covered mountains actually look pretty cool as a backdrop to all the bright green spring grass. And I went and got a haircut today that turned out pretty well. I decided to try a new place, since I had a coupon for something called "The Works". It turned out to be a good deal, since I got my hair washed, cut, and styled for only $14. I know I could look better if I were willing to spend more money on my hair, but I'm just too cheap.

Also, I just found out that a paper I submitted for a conference got accepted and they want me to present. We were required to submit our papers as part of my women's writing class, and all of us who did got accepted for the conference (there are 5 of us grad students in all). I think it would be tons of fun, especially since several other people I know and like to hang out with are going. It's put on by the Asociacion de Escritoras de Espana y las Americas, or the "Association of Women Writers of Spain and the Americas". Basically, it's a group for people who study women writers from Spain and Latin America before the modern age. I'm still not sure if I will be able to go or not, though. The dates for the conference are October 5-7, which isn't the best timing for us since it happens shortly after our move to Washington. Also, money is a factor as well. The department has some funds, and I can apply for a grant through the university, but I'd probably still be paying some of my own way as well. I have until June 1 to commit for sure, so hopefully before then I can get a better idea of what is possible or not. It is held at Georgetown University, which is cool because I know a number of people in the DC area, plus DC is a fun place to visit. We'll have to see...

When it's springtime in the Rockies

On Tuesday I wore a short-sleeved shirt and sandals and rejoiced in the warm weather. This morning I woke up to snow and it hasn't stopped during the last three hours. Snow in April is just sick and wrong.

In the spotlight

Tonight Master Fob and I went to the Spanish Department's annual end of the year dinner. It was mostly a chance to hang out with my friends and eat free burritos from Bajio (yum). I often take S-Boogie to things like this by myself, so it was nice to go somewhere as a family for a change. S-Boogie behaved reasonably well, although we had a few technical difficulties when the side effects from her antibiotic decided to kick in and she managed to blow out two diapers in less than an hour. Luckily her pants weren't too bad so she could wear them home and she was distracted enough by carrot cake that she didn't even notice the leakage.

The thing I realized tonight is that I really like attention and getting awards, and I feel bad when I don't get them. I like the spotlight, and I have always tried to repress this part of me. I don't know why, but I crave attention and then feel horribly guilty when I seek it. The thing is, they only give out a few awards and there was no way I was going to get any of them. I'm not a candidate for "outstanding graduate student" because I don't do any of the extra things: I don't hang out with professors, I don't edit the student journal, I don't even teach or TA, and that's OK because I don't have time for it. My life has other priorities, and my master's program is not the sum total of my existence. Looking around the room, I could think of at least 10 other people who were even more deserving than I and who didn't get the award either. And it's fine. But for some reason when I go to events like this, I always feel kind of bad that no one is calling my name and telling me what a wonderful person I am. My patriarchal blessing actually even warns me that I should continue to do good even if I don't get credit or support for it. So I guess I will keep doing what I'm doing, and know that I think I'm pretty cool. Maybe tomorrow I will buy myself a candy bar and give myself the "outstanding graduate student who has survived nearly four semesters without a nervous breakdown" award.

Reviews

A few weeks ago I got a coupon in the mail for a Thai restaurant a few blocks away on State Street. It's been pinned to my bulletin board taunting me ever since, so last night I decided that we needed to ignore our budget woes and go out for Thai food. I think it's called Bangkok Grill, and it hasn't been open for a very long time (well, maybe a year). When we first got there, the entire place was empty, which was kind of nice since we had S-Boogie with us. It also meant that our service was fast and we got all our food quickly, another plus. The food, however, was only OK. We wanted chicken satay, but they were out of chicken so we got pork. The meat was so-so, I thought, but the peanut sauce was very tasty. We also got a green curry with beef and some Pad Thai. The curry was fairly good too, but the Pad Thai definitely wasn't my favorite. The amount of fish sauce on it had crossed the line from delightful accent to nauseatingly rotten flavor. We put the rest of our peanut sauce on it and that made things much better. If I were a restaurant reviewer, I'd probably only give them one-and-a-half stars. I think I still prefer Thai Chili Gardens the best, but Thai Ruby comes in a close second.

After S-Boogie was in bed, Master Fob and I watched a surprisingly funny DVD: Sons of Provo. I laughed and laughed, and didn't hate it at all. Not the best movie ever made, but pretty darn funny. And they only try to be funny without throwing in any sort of other message, so it works. The songs are my favorite part--you can check out the lyrics on the website if you want. One of my favorite little moments from the movie is when they are singing "Sweet Spirit" and the camera pans to the audience: two hot looking girls are totally bored, and the more "boring" girls behind them are swaying in rapture. It's great. If you check out the DVD, be sure to spend some time exploring the various menu options. There's some funny stuff there too.

And, I really have been watching most of conference, even though I managed to sleep through pretty much all of yesterday afternoon's session. I've been surprised and pleased by the recurring theme of tolerance, patience and kindness. I really liked the talk this afternoon about how differences of opinion or belief are no reason to be rude, hateful or to make fun of others. I hope more people (myself included) can take those words to heart. Personally, I think I was actually most touched by Elder Holland's talk this morning about coming closer to Christ so we can have our burdens relieved. I really needed to hear that today, and I do feel more inspired to do more to come closer to Him. I realized a little while ago that I actually can't even remember the last time I went to the temple, so I know it's been a while. I really should go at least one more time before this baby shows up, because it's harder to do with a little one.

Need a good laugh?

I was just reading an interesting NY Times story about people who get tatoos with Chinese characters only to find out that they don't say what they intended to say (like "putrid moth balls" instead of "true love"). They had a link to a fabulous website, which literally had me peeing my pants with laughter. So, if you need some fun, get your daily dose of "Engrish" here:

http://www.engrish.com